To be an inanimate object must be, I fancy, a very uninteresting affair. Certainly, being one appears to have a disastrous effect upon the disposition. No one who has had any intercourse with ...

Inanimate objects attack me. Doors, tables, chairs, toilet seats, vacuum cleaners, keys, wallets, tools, cars, and computers - to name just a few of my enemies - have it out for me. They sneak up on ...