Friend told the letter writer “it is pretentious to dress in all black when the deceased is not a close friend or family ...

One of my father’s wisest off-the-cuff remarks about visiting people who are in mourning goes something like this: “Don’t bring the grief upon yourself by wearing black when going to pay a shiva call.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I believed that wearing all black was proper dress for anyone at a funeral, or any such service. In recent years, though, this seems to have changed. "Church dress," or subdued ...