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These numbers are from v0.3.0. v1.0.0 benchmarks have not yet been run. v1.0.0 contains no changes to the core codec, I/O, or compression pipeline, so these figures remain representative. Updated ...

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only. In honor of ...