A defensive partner can use many different methods to either subconsciously or consciously deflect accountability. Some of these can include blame shifting, minimizing, avoidance, deflection, playing the victim, etc.. all to shift the focus off of them and evadeany emotions of shame or guilt. It's important to not feed into the defensive spiral and stay on track with your boundaries and objectives for the conversation. These responses are calm, goal oriented, compassionate and reinforcing. - if